Getting More

In the last post I talked about finding out the needs of the other party and how important that is in negotiations large and small. This post is a call to never forget your own goals! If you allow your attention to be pulled off of your own goals and objectives and give up what you need you will be left with a result “less than zero”. Yes! Your goals are of supreme importance and must figure into anything and everything you do. This definitely dips into paradox territory as we seek to know the other’s needs and while still honoring our own objectives. But finding the balance is critical and in the end the major job of any successful interaction in business or otherwise. But here’s the rub … are you sure you know your goals and are you acting in a way that will get you to them? It really is a tricky deal trying to figure out just what your goals are. Are you thinking long term enough? A quick win might be available to you, but will it affect the long term relationship and therefore the long term money making prospects? Make sure you are comfortable with your goals and how they will affect you today, tomorrow and down the road. The other potential pit in this process is remaining faithful to your goals. For instance, I have a personal goal of raising my children to be wise, healthy and happy. I know that this means communicating with patience and disciplining with the “long view” in …

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One of the hardest steps to learning successful negotiation is the paradox of knowing and honoring your goals while focusing on the other party’s needs at the same time. Why focus on their needs? Because that’s where successful negotiation begins and ends. If you can discover what they TRULY want and find a way to satisfy that need in the context of your own goals … you’ve got it made. At that point it isn’t really a negotiation as much as a deal finalization. Often, though, their real needs are not apparent to you … or sometimes even them! Somewhat counter intuitively, you need to learn to spend more time asking questions and listening to them in the midst of a negotiation. What is the subtext of what they are saying? Is there an unspoken 3rd party that holds great power over their ultimate decision? Is their a more basic need that there demands are masking? Is a resolution even possible, or are their needs out of bounds with what you can really give them? All of these questions and so much more must be explored as you are attempting to discover possible solutions. And this is the case with negotiations both large and small. Want a comp’d room upgrade after a disastrous first night in the hotel? What does the manager need? How about a little respect first, and a promise of an acknowledgement of fantastic customer service to their boss later? It might not work all the time but it will some of the time and that’s all …

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“Baby steps get on the bus, baby steps down the aisle, baby steps …” – Bill Murray as Bob Wiley in “What About Bob?” If you suffer from work paralysis, your problem might be that you don?t know how to take “baby steps”. Just like you can’t eat an entire Thanksgiving dinner in one bite, or weed your yard with a single pull … you also can’t get to where you want to be in a single moment. In “Getting More” the author, Stuart Diamond writes … An analogy: If you are a .280 hitter in baseball, and you get one extra hit every nine games, you become a .310 hitter in baseball. And that is worth a spot in the Baseball Hall of Fame, and $10 million more a year in compensation. All for one extra hit every thirty-six times at bat. I’m not trying to hit home runs in negotiations. I’m trying to get one extra hit every nine games. It’s a good lesson for negotiation, and a good lesson for life. A few incremental improvements and you will be fabulously more successful. Incremental success is not only more reliable, it’s more doable and more done. Trying to make $10 million off your first website is an exercise in futility and is actually counter-productive. You first need to learn the ropes through small success and then move on to more difficult and challenging opportunities. Just the act of trying dramatically increases your chances that something good will happen. This is true for a number of reasons: First, not …

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